I just had a revalation

So I just realized, I guess I'm not very well liked. I mean maybe its just jealousy (which I'm pretty sure it is because I get jealous of everyone) but like it seems like no one cared about my birthday. I mean i understand that people said Happy Birthday, but who knows if they meant it, it obviously didn't change anything. And its like people threw allison a party, people threw Laura a party and like Allison's mom was gonna try to get some ppl to go out for Eileens dinner, but like what did they do for me?I don't know, maybe i'm just being a bitch. I understand that Chiara baked me a cake and everything but she does that for everyone, so it doesn't really make me feel special. I mean the best present I got was from my Aunt Jan. I'm not really looking for a present, i just want to feel special, or wanted.And also, I know there are starving kids in Africa that don't have such and such and like i feel bad for them but i'm miserable too and i feel as though my feelings shouldn't be ignored.But like all the while, people are having amazing birthdays (mine was on May 11th) and I'm smiling for them yet dying on the inside. And yeah I just remembred - Me and Laura went out to dinner for my birtday but like I payed (yeah i volunteered so i guess that doesnt count) and I asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner. I mean nobody (well except my friend "Jenny") went out of their way to let me have a good birthday.But then again, am I worth it?